- "My job is to make sure that my staff doesn't find out that I'm paid much more than they are"

- "I spend all day tracking cookies 🍪"

- “Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.“

- “I found the secret ingredient to a good joke. It's all in the delivery.”

- “Be careful about what you say about the colors I chose… or at least use a good tone”

- "👆 you get a raise

👈 and you get a raiiiiiise

and you get a raiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise 👉"

- "Safety first or hospital next. Call me when you make your choice."

- “Nothing's like hands in old plastic to find the meaning of life”